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Secret Games

Don’t even start a game you don’t want to finish.

See, that’s how it starts.
Step 1: Blame the other person for a mishap.
Step 2: Blame God for letting it happen.
Step 3: Blame powers of the enemy for being lazy.
Step 4: Blame the system for not working.
Step 5: Blame Nigeria, or your country and Africa, or your continent.
Step 6: Blame everyone except yourself.
Step 7: Feel bad and blame the other person, technically back at step 1.
A very crazy cycle, such an interesting game! Do you want to play? It’s called Blame Game, also know as Lame Game. You play lame. Took the effort to illustrate.

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Secret Games

-Wonuola Olawale

Notes from the heart to women

As Women on a Mission (A platform/network/WhatsApp page I created few years ago), missions need equipment. And as women, our being equipped is most important as a team, yet as individuals. As led in my spirit, I would like to learn more, yet pass on certain virtues in my lifetime and I know this is important to not just me but all of us (Women on a Mission).

With this in mind, it is also said, show me your friend and I’ll show who you are. Two, evil communication corrupts good manners while good communication enhances good manners.

My point: Aside adding some more “women” on the page and some structure/flexibility to Women on a Mission, I want to see women grow based on your suggestion and inputs.

For instance, a broader perspective on certain issues that remain close to our hearts as Women on a Mission e.g. career choice, relationship with God, relationship with workmates, or “spouse” or intended partners, business, e-commerce, travels, etc. Or a time for prayer requests and testimonies. Perhaps, weekly nuggets. Maybe develop membership and network management such that each person on the network is well known with progress records towards chosen mission on a quarterly base. These are things that should help.

Call to action: suggest reasons why women seem to be ill-equipped for their missions.

Yours sincerely in growth,
Wonuola Olawale.

Does anything ever end?

I’m sure we’re so used to the cinematic caption, “the end”, that we hardly question if anything really ends. As usual, I question the status quo not to front social rebellion but to promote healthy positive changes as we question seemingly mundane things.

Just thought this is something for discussions. Does anything ever end? Is everything not just cyclic?

I wonder if anyone has similar questions… please feel free to share too.

Amazing Woman

What makes her amazing?
She’s got this love for God and people that is more or less contagious
She would cheer you up even if she’s sinking literally
She’s the definition of selfless
She has this unconditional love even for “outsiders”
She’s always thinking of how to “adopt” more kids to God’s kingdom and even has more children than you can count
She would give her all no matter what
She’s my mother!

Seriously, others get so tired at the ninth month
For some reason, I enjoyed almost eleven months and she still patiently loves me
There are many times I just do some super annoying things, yet, she’s just patient and kind
She’s my superwoman, making the love of God real to me everyday
I wish we could give you the world, but it’s not ours to give
So we’ll give you our words
Thank you mother!

You’re an amazing woman, mother, lover, sister, friend and so much more!
You’re deeply celebrated ma.
Happy birthday mum!

Chat nuggets

Few nuggets I got while looking through old chats. It may feel disjointed, but there’s something for each one:

Not these nuggets! *winks*

We start in faith, we continue in knowledge, we end in experience… selah!

It’s always not so clear when you’re on the chosen and right path, it’s more or less when you look back and see that Daddy’s always got it all figured because he ain’t in time. He’s not a dead God. We know we die because we live in time. Time defined our death. But he’s a living God! Not dead! Not timed! He’s out of time, he sees it all! That’s why the “mortal” man can’t understand God or his ways

I got my long-awaited answer. What is our purpose? Fulfilling our purpose: man in the image of God is the completion of creation and fulfilment of rest

Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

As HE IS so ARE WE in this world. Selah!

Father, it’s you or nothing

What are your chats telling you?🤗

So, everyone thinks they’re right

Of course, I’m here to challenge the status quo of communication, the quest to be who’s right or the rush to find out who’s to blame.

So, imagine this scenario and enjoy the role play if you may, words in brackets are to be considered cues:

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels

Person 1: Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions.
Person 2: (Excited and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X?
Person 1: (Furious) You saw the ad, so why are you asking?
Person 2: (Shocked) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question.
Person 2: (Calmly) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe.
Person 1: (No emotions) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it.
Person 2: (Thankfully) Could we please do a video call tomorrow?
Person 1: (No one knows) No I can’t do video
Person 2: (Okay, what’s going on?) Is there a reason please?
Person 1: You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck
Person 2: (Feeling shocked and embarrassed) Wow!
Person 2: I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk given the current COVID situation.
Person 1: You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me.
Person 2: (Feeling really embarrassed and shocked) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration?
Person 1: (Just more furious) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye!
Person 2: Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults.
Person 1: You were insulting. Bye!
Person 2: (Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and politely blocks the fellow).
End of imagination experience 1.

End of exercise 1

While you may want to quickly justify person 1 or person 2 for whatever reasons, switch cue roles and consider the several times you have been in Person 1’s shoes or Person 2’s slippers. *winks*

Difficult switching cues? No worries, I gat you! Let’s try imagination exercise 2. Please try reading this again:

Person 1: (Happily) Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions.
Person 2: (Angry and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X?
Person 1: (Surprised) You saw the ad, so why are you asking?
Person 2: (Infuriated) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question.
Person 2: (Assertively) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe.
Person 1: (Calmly) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it.
Person 2: (Persistently) Could we please do a video call tomorrow?
Person 1: (Still calmly) No I can’t do video
Person 2: (More pissed) Is there a reason please?
Person 1: (Shocked) You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck
Person 2: (Indignant) Wow
Person 2: (Annoyed now) I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk.
Person 1: (Curious) You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me.
Person 2: (Just outright dismissal) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration?
Person 1: (Now fed up) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye!
Person 2: (Sarcastic) Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults.
Person 1: (Just really fed up) You were insulting. Bye!
Person 2: (This person 1 is unbelievable. Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and blocks the fellow).
End of alternative imagination experience 2.

End of exercise 2. Photos by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels

Please note that these fictional characters and chats were made up from several different experiences and stories. Any resemblance to any character is purely coincidental.

Yahi! “End of exercise today”. Please feel free to not misinterpret that quotation to mean you should not exercise today again. *Smiles* Good luck communicating that clearly, right?

Well, let’s try that “end of exercise today” again and please interpret it to mean more exercise, not the other way round. To be precise, let it mean end of imagination exercise today. 🙂

The truth is, I am no communication expert. If there’s anything I’d like to get across with these exercises, it’s that visual and mental cues still happen to dominate communications. So, if you refuse to see beyond the narrative you first played out in your mind, unable to see the other person either in person or via video call and decide that chats are the determinants of a person’s behavior, you may have been seeing things differently than they really might be.

So not an expert! 🙂 Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

While we try to communicate as clearly and respectfully as we can, it is important to perhaps consider this:
Texts, chats, emails or audio calls are possibly the one-dimensions of communication and should really be viewed as what they are – 1-D.

Remember our recent blog?

Anyway, let’s try these quick tips to everyone trying to be right:

Not these tips right?

Tip 1. Negatives X negatives = positives mathematically but in most languages especially English language as I know it, it’s easy to think of Negatives + Negatives = confusion and negative communication strategies.

Tip 2. Another one is to consider at least two possible positive cues when having one-dimensional conversions. That way, the trap of shutting everything and everyone down may be too difficult to escape.

Tip 3. Thirdly, if possible, employ emojis either in signs, descriptions or emoticons really. There are like half-dimension additions sometimes. Speaking from combined experiences, “emojiless” discussions have landed many in more miscommunications than warranted.

Dear reader, have you got more tips to share, please kindly share them as comments or private 1.5-D chats. *smiles* (see what I did there with tip 3? Lols)

My name is Wonuola Olawale and I’m on a journey of self-discovery through Christ. Not perfect one bit, just basking in the righteousness of Christ Jesus imputed in me. I enjoyed coming out of my shell today again and just writing for fun. Join me again sometime soon?

Sadness

I know it too well. You’re not alone… Yeah! The whole bubbly feeling gone poof! Like bubbles burst literally or hot gone cold. Some people can’t snap out of it so easily like you pretend to. They give it a name: most common mental illness. Sometimes, if you are lucky to find support in a non-judgmental environment, you may be given pills for the depression. Sadly, not many people get the help they require. If you don’t castigate me for taking analgesics when I have headaches, why should I be shamed for taking a brain analgesic or for speaking to my therapist.

Sadness. Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

Say it! So you’re sick in the head? Is that what you call this? Truth is, it takes a while for me to handle some chemicals released in my brain, differently from you. Should I be ashamed for being myself? Tell me! This is me yelling for no reason because I think you do not hear me. You’re further than I thought!

I am sad. Sadder than normal. I will take my time to accept what I feel and be thankful that I can at least feel something. I’m alive! That’s true. Not dead. I have opportunities to make of myself something worthwhile. Make the next person at least a bit happier than myself. I will focus on one victory at a time. Fill my life bucket with things I treasure. So that when you come with all your usual demands, negativity, and chitchat that runs me dry, I’ll be just prepared. Then I’d do it again. Fill up again. I accept the cycle of it all. Up and down, goes my breath. Up and down, goes the sinusoidal waves of electric voltage and current. Up and down, up and down, goes life.

I’ll fill my bucket and do it many times again. Photo by Markus Spiske from Pexels

Don’t you worry about me. I might be sad for a while, but I know the cycle too well. I’ve mastered it. Just don’t shame me for being sad or for seeking support during my downtime. – Anonymous

This is from the mind of someone who had recently dealt with medical depression. Please stop shaming mental illness or the help that should come with being ill. If physical ailments deserve attention, and if spiritual support is freely offered, then mental health support should be made available when needed.

Everyone experiences sadness once in a while and as such, is normal. Even Jesus wept. Jesus slept too. Jesus questioned his life purpose when he requested for change of plans. He’s gone through worse for us to know we can always overcome, no matter what. When symptoms of depression, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, persists for more than two weeks, please seek help and support.

Grief, loss of loved ones, changes in proposed plans, unexpected events and even bullying can be triggers to sadness, if unattended to for extended periods, likely depression.

Photo by Irina Anastasiu from Pexels

This is for us all to be able to recognize and empathize with anyone who might be struggling with sadness or depression.

Please speak up if you’re facing any health issues of any kind. There are several support systems and many health institutions are happy to refer you to some of these mental health care and support depending on where you are.

Speak up!

Remember, health is wealth! Physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, really, in all wise. Take yourself seriously. You deserve that much.

With love, Wonuola Olawale.

There’s more than meets the eye

I had a dream that troubled me.

A hotel I had visited about 7 years ago in Beijing, China was literally upside down with its top floors overturned to be on its bottom. This was an over 10-stories skyscraper hotel. Its elevator systems overturned such that 629 had become 926, my supposed room number in the dream.

As I struggled to understand what that could have meant, I am met with a more obvious question: what is reality?

What makes spiritual spiritual? Dreams dreams and resounding speeches real?

I remember a long time ago when my best friend tried to illustrate dimensions to me. His illustration was perhaps one of the most resonating to me in explaining the concept. I’ll try to express the same illustration and hope that you get it too.

Now imagine an infinitely tiny dot that you somehow managed to communicate with.

Our small dot

Many can argue that the dot is zero dimension, some may go as far as stretching it to two dimensions cos it must have some height, no matter how nanoscale and some can keep playing with the idea that is three-dimensional. At least viruses are nothing but tiny nanoscale dots too. Well, for the sake of this illustration, I want you to consider the small dot as zero dimension.

Not this one…

For some reason, if you extended the dot to a line, in mathematics, you will say you have added another dimension and it is now one-dimensional object. If you asked the dot by your magical communications strategy to see the one line, the truth is, it might be a difficult task because you are asking it to see beyond itself, a dot may not see a line! Is the line real? Yes! Is the dot real? Yes! Does the line’s dimension supercede that of the dot? For the sake of this reasoning, yes! As a consequence, the line is of a supernatural order to the dot.

Now, line

You can extend this same concept from a line (1-D) to a rectangle or square (2-D) or from the rectangle to a cube or table, both 3-D a.k.a three dimension. Asking the lower dimensions to observe the higher dimensions is simply a feat.

Etc.

I perhaps understood that whatever reality we are in right now or that we concoct during our sleep, is real. My inability to observe a higher dimension may perhaps be the evidence of my death as chronicled in the account of scripture’s Genesis. Regardless, it is my reality and I choose to live fully in my reality, trusting the help of higher dimensions I can’t explain or fully observe.

Maybe this is an extreme discussion for some but this is really an invite to first accept the possibility of higher realms and your own reality.

It may also help you to see why Jesus could be Man and God at the same time. A cube (3-dimensioned) can be a 2-D object of simply a square once drawn on paper depending on the perspective or where you’re looking at it from.

Really, do you see why some who say this earth might be our heaven that we are currently messing up could be right? To see that creation awaits the manifestation of sons of God, whatever reality that may be? Reference to Romans chapter 8.

Personally, I believe I see, hear and perceive higher dimensions whenever I interact with energy in any form, be it social energy, electrical energy, magnetic energy or the sorts. The truth is whatever reality we observe or do not observe is real and out there. There’s more than meet the eye!

My name is Wonuola Olawale and I believe in energy as a dimension that remains underexplored! *winks*

There’s more than meets the eye…