So, everyone thinks they’re right

Of course, I’m here to challenge the status quo of communication, the quest to be who’s right or the rush to find out who’s to blame.

So, imagine this scenario and enjoy the role play if you may, words in brackets are to be considered cues:

Person 1: Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions.
Person 2: (Excited and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X?
Person 1: (Furious) You saw the ad, so why are you asking?
Person 2: (Shocked) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question.
Person 2: (Calmly) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe.
Person 1: (No emotions) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it.
Person 2: (Thankfully) Could we please do a video call tomorrow?
Person 1: (No one knows) No I can’t do video
Person 2: (Okay, what’s going on?) Is there a reason please?
Person 1: You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck
Person 2: (Feeling shocked and embarrassed) Wow!
Person 2: I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk given the current COVID situation.
Person 1: You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me.
Person 2: (Feeling really embarrassed and shocked) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration?
Person 1: (Just more furious) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye!
Person 2: Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults.
Person 1: You were insulting. Bye!
Person 2: (Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and politely blocks the fellow).
End of imagination experience 1.

While you may want to quickly justify person 1 or person 2 for whatever reasons, switch cue roles and consider the several times you have been in Person 1’s shoes or Person 2’s slippers. *winks*

Difficult switching cues? No worries, I gat you! Let’s try imagination exercise 2. Please try reading this again:

Person 1: (Happily) Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions.
Person 2: (Angry and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X?
Person 1: (Surprised) You saw the ad, so why are you asking?
Person 2: (Infuriated) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question.
Person 2: (Assertively) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe.
Person 1: (Calmly) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it.
Person 2: (Persistently) Could we please do a video call tomorrow?
Person 1: (Still calmly) No I can’t do video
Person 2: (More pissed) Is there a reason please?
Person 1: (Shocked) You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck
Person 2: (Indignant) Wow
Person 2: (Annoyed now) I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk.
Person 1: (Curious) You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me.
Person 2: (Just outright dismissal) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration?
Person 1: (Now fed up) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye!
Person 2: (Sarcastic) Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults.
Person 1: (Just really fed up) You were insulting. Bye!
Person 2: (This person 1 is unbelievable. Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and blocks the fellow).
End of alternative imagination experience 2.

Please note that these fictional characters and chats were made up from several different experiences and stories. Any resemblance to any character is purely coincidental.

Yahi! “End of exercise today”. Please feel free to not misinterpret that quotation to mean you should not exercise today again. *Smiles* Good luck communicating that clearly, right?

Well, let’s try that “end of exercise today” again and please interpret it to mean more exercise, not the other way round. To be precise, let it mean end of imagination exercise today. 🙂

The truth is, I am no communication expert. If there’s anything I’d like to get across with these exercises, it’s that visual and mental cues still happen to dominate communications. So, if you refuse to see beyond the narrative you first played out in your mind, unable to see the other person either in person or via video call and decide that chats are the determinants of a person’s behavior, you may have been seeing things differently than they really might be.

While we try to communicate as clearly and respectfully as we can, it is important to perhaps consider this:
Texts, chats, emails or audio calls are possibly the one-dimensions of communication and should really be viewed as what they are – 1-D.

Anyway, let’s try these quick tips to everyone trying to be right:

Tip 1. Negatives X negatives = positives mathematically but in most languages especially English language as I know it, it’s easy to think of Negatives + Negatives = confusion and negative communication strategies.

Tip 2. Another one is to consider at least two possible positive cues when having one-dimensional conversions. That way, the trap of shutting everything and everyone down may be too difficult to escape.

Tip 3. Thirdly, if possible, employ emojis either in signs, descriptions or emoticons really. There are like half-dimension additions sometimes. Speaking from combined experiences, “emojiless” discussions have landed many in more miscommunications than warranted.

Dear reader, have you got more tips to share, please kindly share them as comments or private 1.5-D chats. *smiles* (see what I did there with tip 3? Lols)

My name is Wonuola Olawale and I’m on a journey of self-discovery through Christ. Not perfect one bit, just basking in the righteousness of Christ Jesus imputed in me. I enjoyed coming out of my shell today again and just writing for fun. Join me again sometime soon?