Few nuggets I got while looking through old chats. It may feel disjointed, but there’s something for each one:
We start in faith, we continue in knowledge, we end in experience… selah!
It’s always not so clear when you’re on the chosen and right path, it’s more or less when you look back and see that Daddy’s always got it all figured because he ain’t in time. He’s not a dead God. We know we die because we live in time. Time defined our death. But he’s a living God! Not dead! Not timed! He’s out of time, he sees it all! That’s why the “mortal” man can’t understand God or his ways
I got my long-awaited answer. What is our purpose? Fulfilling our purpose: man in the image of God is the completion of creation and fulfilment of rest
Of course, I’m here to challenge the status quo of communication, the quest to be who’s right or the rush to find out who’s to blame.
So, imagine this scenario and enjoy the role play if you may, words in brackets are to be considered cues:
Person 1: Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions. Person 2: (Excited and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X? Person 1: (Furious) You saw the ad, so why are you asking? Person 2: (Shocked) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question. Person 2: (Calmly) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe. Person 1: (No emotions) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it. Person 2: (Thankfully) Could we please do a video call tomorrow? Person 1: (No one knows) No I can’t do video Person 2: (Okay, what’s going on?) Is there a reason please? Person 1: You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck Person 2: (Feeling shocked and embarrassed) Wow! Person 2: I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk given the current COVID situation. Person 1: You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me. Person 2: (Feeling really embarrassed and shocked) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration? Person 1: (Just more furious) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye! Person 2: Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults. Person 1: You were insulting. Bye! Person 2: (Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and politely blocks the fellow). End of imagination experience 1.
While you may want to quickly justify person 1 or person 2 for whatever reasons, switch cue roles and consider the several times you have been in Person 1’s shoes or Person 2’s slippers. *winks*
Difficult switching cues? No worries, I gat you! Let’s try imagination exercise 2. Please try reading this again:
Person 1: (Happily) Hi, I have this amazing product I’d like to sell. It has this and that. It is way and then that. Please ask me for more pictures and feel free to chat me up if you have any further questions. Person 2: (Angry and types) Hi, does the product have specifics X? Person 1: (Surprised) You saw the ad, so why are you asking? Person 2: (Infuriated) It wasn’t clear to me, hence my question. Please answer my question. Person 2: (Assertively) I’d like to see the product via video call because of the COVID situation especially to keep everyone safe. Person 1: (Calmly) This product has specific X. You can come see it. I prefer to meet people in person. Let me know when you can see it. Person 2: (Persistently) Could we please do a video call tomorrow? Person 1: (Still calmly) No I can’t do video Person 2: (More pissed) Is there a reason please? Person 1: (Shocked) You should go find another product where you can have it your way. You don’t know how to communicate. Good luck Person 2: (Indignant) Wow Person 2: (Annoyed now) I have no means of coming to see your product and taking a bus feels like putting you and myself at risk. Person 1: (Curious) You should have started with that instead of insisting on your own way even after noting my reluctance. You lack communication skills. I am educated enough to know what’s risky for me. Stop thinking for me. Person 2: (Just outright dismissal) Wow! I wonder how this degenerated so quickly to this level of aggression. I politely requested for specific X, you snapped. I’ve never met you before, yet you show this level of consideration? Person 1: (Now fed up) Please never contact me again. Thank you. Bye! Person 2: (Sarcastic) Oh wow! I sincerely apologize for contacting you about your product. Thank you for the time and insults. Person 1: (Just really fed up) You were insulting. Bye! Person 2: (This person 1 is unbelievable. Reports chat to platform coordinator for bullying and verbal abuse and blocks the fellow). End of alternative imagination experience 2.
Please note that these fictional characters and chats were made up from several different experiences and stories. Any resemblance to any character is purely coincidental.
Yahi! “End of exercise today”. Please feel free to not misinterpret that quotation to mean you should not exercise today again. *Smiles* Good luck communicating that clearly, right?
Well, let’s try that “end of exercise today” again and please interpret it to mean more exercise, not the other way round. To be precise, let it mean end of imagination exercise today. 🙂
The truth is, I am no communication expert. If there’s anything I’d like to get across with these exercises, it’s that visual and mental cues still happen to dominate communications. So, if you refuse to see beyond the narrative you first played out in your mind, unable to see the other person either in person or via video call and decide that chats are the determinants of a person’s behavior, you may have been seeing things differently than they really might be.
While we try to communicate as clearly and respectfully as we can, it is important to perhaps consider this: Texts, chats, emails or audio calls are possibly the one-dimensions of communication and should really be viewed as what they are – 1-D.
Anyway, let’s try these quick tips to everyone trying to be right:
Tip 1. Negatives X negatives = positives mathematically but in most languages especially English language as I know it, it’s easy to think of Negatives + Negatives = confusion and negative communication strategies.
Tip 2. Another one is to consider at least two possible positive cues when having one-dimensional conversions. That way, the trap of shutting everything and everyone down may be too difficult to escape.
Tip 3. Thirdly, if possible, employ emojis either in signs, descriptions or emoticons really. There are like half-dimension additions sometimes. Speaking from combined experiences, “emojiless” discussions have landed many in more miscommunications than warranted.
Dear reader, have you got more tips to share, please kindly share them as comments or private 1.5-D chats. *smiles* (see what I did there with tip 3? Lols)
My name is Wonuola Olawale and I’m on a journey of self-discovery through Christ. Not perfect one bit, just basking in the righteousness of Christ Jesus imputed in me. I enjoyed coming out of my shell today again and just writing for fun. Join me again sometime soon?
I know it too well. You’re not alone… Yeah! The whole bubbly feeling gone poof! Like bubbles burst literally or hot gone cold. Some people can’t snap out of it so easily like you pretend to. They give it a name: most common mental illness. Sometimes, if you are lucky to find support in a non-judgmental environment, you may be given pills for the depression. Sadly, not many people get the help they require. If you don’t castigate me for taking analgesics when I have headaches, why should I be shamed for taking a brain analgesic or for speaking to my therapist.
Say it! So you’re sick in the head? Is that what you call this? Truth is, it takes a while for me to handle some chemicals released in my brain, differently from you. Should I be ashamed for being myself? Tell me! This is me yelling for no reason because I think you do not hear me. You’re further than I thought!
I am sad. Sadder than normal. I will take my time to accept what I feel and be thankful that I can at least feel something. I’m alive! That’s true. Not dead. I have opportunities to make of myself something worthwhile. Make the next person at least a bit happier than myself. I will focus on one victory at a time. Fill my life bucket with things I treasure. So that when you come with all your usual demands, negativity, and chitchat that runs me dry, I’ll be just prepared. Then I’d do it again. Fill up again. I accept the cycle of it all. Up and down, goes my breath. Up and down, goes the sinusoidal waves of electric voltage and current. Up and down, up and down, goes life.
Don’t you worry about me. I might be sad for a while, but I know the cycle too well. I’ve mastered it. Just don’t shame me for being sad or for seeking support during my downtime. – Anonymous
This is from the mind of someone who had recently dealt with medical depression. Please stop shaming mental illness or the help that should come with being ill. If physical ailments deserve attention, and if spiritual support is freely offered, then mental health support should be made available when needed.
Everyone experiences sadness once in a while and as such, is normal. Even Jesus wept. Jesus slept too. Jesus questioned his life purpose when he requested for change of plans. He’s gone through worse for us to know we can always overcome, no matter what. Whensymptoms of depression, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, persists for more than two weeks, please seek help and support.
Grief, loss of loved ones, changes in proposed plans, unexpected events and even bullying can be triggers to sadness, if unattended to for extended periods, likely depression.
This is for us all to be able to recognize and empathize with anyone who might be struggling with sadness or depression.
Please speak up if you’re facing any health issues of any kind. There are several support systems and many health institutions are happy to refer you to some of these mental health care and support depending on where you are.
Remember, health is wealth! Physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, really, in all wise. Take yourself seriously. You deserve that much.
A hotel I had visited about 7 years ago in Beijing, China was literally upside down with its top floors overturned to be on its bottom. This was an over 10-stories skyscraper hotel. Its elevator systems overturned such that 629 had become 926, my supposed room number in the dream.
As I struggled to understand what that could have meant, I am met with a more obvious question: what is reality?
What makes spiritual spiritual? Dreams dreams and resounding speeches real?
I remember a long time ago when my best friend tried to illustrate dimensions to me. His illustration was perhaps one of the most resonating to me in explaining the concept. I’ll try to express the same illustration and hope that you get it too.
Now imagine an infinitely tiny dot that you somehow managed to communicate with.
Many can argue that the dot is zero dimension, some may go as far as stretching it to two dimensions cos it must have some height, no matter how nanoscale and some can keep playing with the idea that is three-dimensional. At least viruses are nothing but tiny nanoscale dots too. Well, for the sake of this illustration, I want you to consider the small dot as zero dimension.
For some reason, if you extended the dot to a line, in mathematics, you will say you have added another dimension and it is now one-dimensional object. If you asked the dot by your magical communications strategy to see the one line, the truth is, it might be a difficult task because you are asking it to see beyond itself, a dot may not see a line! Is the line real? Yes! Is the dot real? Yes! Does the line’s dimension supercede that of the dot? For the sake of this reasoning, yes! As a consequence, the line is of a supernatural order to the dot.
You can extend this same concept from a line (1-D) to a rectangle or square (2-D) or from the rectangle to a cube or table, both 3-D a.k.a three dimension. Asking the lower dimensions to observe the higher dimensions is simply a feat.
I perhaps understood that whatever reality we are in right now or that we concoct during our sleep, is real. My inability to observe a higher dimension may perhaps be the evidence of my death as chronicled in the account of scripture’s Genesis. Regardless, it is my reality and I choose to live fully in my reality, trusting the help of higher dimensions I can’t explain or fully observe.
Maybe this is an extreme discussion for some but this is really an invite to first accept the possibility of higher realms and your own reality.
It may also help you to see why Jesus could be Man and God at the same time. A cube (3-dimensioned) can be a 2-D object of simply a square once drawn on paper depending on the perspective or where you’re looking at it from.
Really, do you see why some who say this earth might be our heaven that we are currently messing up could be right? To see that creation awaits the manifestation of sons of God, whatever reality that may be? Reference to Romans chapter 8.
Personally, I believe I see, hear and perceive higher dimensions whenever I interact with energy in any form, be it social energy, electrical energy, magnetic energy or the sorts. The truth is whatever reality we observe or do not observe is real and out there. There’s more than meet the eye!
My name is Wonuola Olawale and I believe in energy as a dimension that remains underexplored! *winks*
This is perhaps too touchy a subject and maybe at such a time as this, we need to talk about this.
Very recently, I questioned the reason for variations in skin color and inadvertently questioned why nature is diversely colored. Not only did I see how painful that question was, but very disturbing when my younger siblings asked me the exact question. My response was tied to melanin protection versus climate differences and how we all remain humans.
The question was pulled in a different manner when the superiority of one race to another was raised and I could only refute by saying comparison is not usually the wisest ground to take. But then, there are usually no absolutes and most measurements we would always make is simply relative to some standard. This can explain why we feel very strongly about needing a standard for the human race or skin if you so choose.
I must therefore confess that the “Black and White” labels is something that I find very uncomfortable. The weirder one is people of color. Like anyone on earth is colorless? A friend made the joke about how dark skinned persons remain a simple color throughout their lifetime while light skinned persons changes color when sad to blueish, when sick to greenish, when tanned to reddish and all sorts of color. While I think that was a bit of an extreme joke, the idea that skin color labels are constantly argued just beats me.
We seemed to have found labels for the over a 100 variants of apples but can’t seem to get this right.
Very recently, a show on Netflix may have subtly showcased food gods to only wear white and perhaps relate to some as being offensive. Could they have worn the rainbow? Oh. That might imply being “gay”. Or should they try some other color? What should it be? It is therefore interesting to note how skin color is associated with color labels that may or may not even be sensible.
I think the struggle to what labels should apply to human beings will continue for a long time. Another documentary on skin color in the African context by Beverly Naya titled “Skin” shows how the labeling of “black and white” has led to an even worse pandemic known as “whitening or bleaching or toning”. A skin chemical industry gulping at least 10 billion dollars from the African continent annually since 2009. Should we then at least consider a different approach to skin color labels?
To put this differently, have you decided to eat wrongly labeled foods? Or make transactions based on misleading labels? Why then would we continue to proudly wear wrong labels? Maybe you can correct me by presenting a solid line of argument as to why black and white or people of color is an appropriate label. Oh please, don’t say that it’s already the norm. If LGBTQ could change their label from faggot (very offensive and annoying that someone thought that should be a thing) to gay for happy, then please offer a different line of argument. The norm is always evolving, that’s my point there.
Besides, I have had to reject being part of certain groups such as “National Society Black Engineers (NSBE)” and the likes, not because they are not representing the minority that I am supposedly part of, but simply due to the rule of association. I know that the association known as “Oil and Gas people” recently changed to “Energy people”, thanks to evolving energy companies and oil price tanking.
Oh! Should I also mention how I think I am not a minority? Maybe later. But a small hint is that I’m from a continent that has 16% of the world population when out of 6 or 7 continents, that is like an exact percentage for the appropriate population. Or should I say how Africa has 54 countries and boasts of one-fifth of the Earth’s total land area? So really, I’m part of a majority by virtue of being from Africa. The fact that we’re not many in a certain place is not the definition of minority, is it?
Anyways, back to the discussion of association. I also think that by association, it means I’m reinforcing the thoughts of being segregated. I am a person, I will treat myself as a human being, whether or not that is relevant, I don’t know. The truth is, I just want to be a person, that’s all, not black or white or person of color. I am a human being too! #Iamhumantoo
Whether that is more powerful or profound, the point is, I am human and if you think that’s not the case, please prove it without being offensive or condescending 🙂
Disclaimer: This is the opinion of the author, Wonuola Olawale andin no way portrayal of any bias towards anyone or people.
Please feel free to ask questions or tweet about #Iamhumantoo.
I started a movement called #respectafrica 2 years ago, you can see more on http://www.rafrica.org. The movement is about us all owning our own story, both good and bad and ugly and telling it ourselves. I interviewed over 100 people who became RA advocates, see the Instagram page at @respectafrica. Suggestions on how to reach a broader audience are totally welcome. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me via this platform.
An infinite invisible visibly loving me beyond description
It’s true, it’s inexplicable like a well-written love song about reckless love
The end or the start *winks*
Dedicated to you and I who are finding it hard to accept God’s reckless forever love. It’s true and it’s inexplicable that one would give himself as an atonement for our recklessness and still love us eternally.
John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and that whosoever believes in him shall not die but have everlasting life. Amen!
I hardly publish another man’s work except it meets all the criteria of vision, likeness and “edutainment”. Even though I don’t always fully align with all the tiny fractions I have put in quoted “italics”, I still hope you enjoy this bit.
BETWEEN NEYMAR AND BILL GATES – DON’T BE DECEIVED.
So by this time tomorrow, Neymar will get his first alert of 248 million naira. And every Thursday, like “drug money“, it will be dropping like that! Chaiii, that one is too much oh, but “what is the guy playing self”?
Well, it is no longer news that last week Thursday, August 3rd, 2017, one of the biggest contract ever in the history of world football was signed. Neymar Da Silva Santos Junior officially signed for Paris Saint Germain from Spanish giant Barcelona after they met his buyout clause of €222M. Hours later the news of his weekly earnings of about €515,000 or 248 million naira broke the internet. I will be the last person to dispute if Neymar is worth all that money because I have watched the guy and I can tell that he is good. He is talented, his dribbling skill, finishing, ease of taking defenders one-on-one and the shooting accuracy with both feet are all admirable, but above all these Neymar is simply a very strong and saleable brand. By Sunday, when PSG line up against Guingamp FC Neymar will get the first chance to show the watching world (will you watch the match?) why PSG is paying that much for his signature.
The ideal scenario will be for Neymar to open his account with a hat trick in that match and win the man of the match – and that is exactly what I wish him. But most amazing, most confusing and perhaps now annoying about that contract is what Nigerians have made out of it here at home. Most of us have misrepresented not just the worth but the significance and implications of that deal. Most social media users (including professionals) have made serious attempts to demean ‘education’ by comparing the monetary rewards that it offers to what football offers. I heard that A is no longer for Apple and B is no longer for Book. I understand that the new way of teaching children ABCD (in Nigeria) is to let them understand that A is for Attack, B is for Back pass, C is Control the Ball, D is for Defence and indeed every single footballing terminology is now used in learning the English Alphabet, and at the end of the day the lesson to the child is simple – you must play football whether you like it or not.
But I think that is dangerous, we can’t promote this ideology as a nation otherwise I am afraid of what the future holds. We will not be doing our generation any good if we encourage them to ignore education for the pursuit of money. Of course, you should know that I am a key promoter of the fact that going to university is completely useless if it is all about the degree, but for God’s sake how can someone who is actually a graduate want to make it look as if it is all about the degree? In the first place why is the emphasis not on “what Neymar can do” but on the fact that he doesn’t have WAEC result? Is PSG paying him that money because he didn’t go to school or because he has proved himself competent enough in his chosen career? I think the emphasis should rather be on what someone can do rather than his academic qualifications otherwise all those without a secondary education will easily be earning like Neymar already. Don’t be deceived. 248 million naira per week is massive, in fact it is out of this world and you only get a better understanding of how big it is worth when you compare it with the average salary of a first class graduate here in Nigeria. You know you will need to earn 1 million naira average salary for 20 years and 8 months to hit that figure(bro when will you retire?), but guys, let’s still not blow it out of proportion because there is another comparison.
Now, if Neymar without a WAEC result (according to those who claim to know) earns 248 million per week, how much does Bill Gates (who actually went as far as Harvard) earn? Mind you, Bill Gates went to school as far as Harvard, the whole talk of him dropping out is widely misrepresented. He didn’t drop out because he was not good enough, he didn’t drop out because he was irresponsible, in fact he had a meeting with the school authority when it became obvious that he needed more time to work on the Microsoft idea and in his exact words he told the school that he was going on a ‘leave of absence’ and should return if the idea failed to work as planned. He didn’t leave the school empty, he left with the knowledge he had acquired, he left having made friends and built a network of like minds, he left having access to mentors from the school (for me, these are some of the most important reasons of going to university in the first place, and not just for that paper called certificate). With that knowledge and skill acquired directly or indirectly by going to school, Bill Gates was able to build Microsoft and in 2013 he earned 11.5 billion dollars in a single year. That figure would give you 1.38 million dollars per hour. What it means is that the 248 million naira Neymar earns in a week is what Bill Gates earns in 30 minutes. Don’t be deceived. Why would I rather be a Bill Gates than a Neymar? Why would I rather point my kids to Bill Gates than to Neymar? It is simple.
If you go by the figures, you have already seen it above. If you want to look at the future, then you will know that Neymar is 25 today, but will he still be playing football at this level at 35? What if in an unfortunate situation where he breaks his leg tomorrow (no one prays for that, but it does happen), that will be the end of everything, football doesn’t even provide for pension or gratuity. But “Gates can sleep for the rest of his life” and the billions will keep flowing because alert has been set on auto run, he has ‘programmed’ his business directly into his bank account – with his knowledge (you need education to set up that kind of system).
What if you are looking at relevance and significance, how many millionaires have Neymar made or will he ever make in his lifetime? Bill Gates has made 3 billionaires and over 12,000 millionaires. I asked someone what Neymar will do with this money, and he said Neymar already has a private jet, now is the time to get a yacht and start paying for the penthouse of all the 5-star hotels in the world. Do you think someone who is well schooled will choose to spend the money that way? Don’t be deceived. Education is still the key, education is still superior, “education has birthed technology and technology is where the money is and not football“. The most valuable club in the world according to Forbes 2017 rating is Manchester United and they are worth a whopping 3.69 billion dollars to edge both Barcelona and Real Madrid. But how whopping is that compared with the worth of Apple, Google, or Microsoft? In fact the total worth of the top 20 football clubs in the world (including Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester United, Chelsea, Bayern Munich, PSG, Arsenal, Manchester City, Juventus, Liverpool) is 29.6 billion dollars. Mark Zuckerberg can simply pull out a cheque from his back pocket and buy those 20 clubs without even discussing with the board of Facebook (that sounds like an insult but that is the fact). That is how powerful ideas are, that is how powerful knowledge can be, that is how powerful education can be. What would you rather choose for your child? Don’t be deceived.
The standard of education in Nigeria has dropped so badly that it is beginning to lose its relevance, but rather than turn our backs on it completely, rather than encourage our children not to go to school, rather than insult it the more, we should champion a course on how to make it what it ought to be and more attractive. We should teach our children the real importance of education and not just to come out and get a good job. Trends are changing, the world has evolved and our educational system must evolve and not allowed to dissolve. Don’t be deceived. Send your children to good school if you can afford it, and after that allow him or her the freedom of choice and if he or she chooses to play football he will be buying football clubs and earning 10x what Neymar earns today. I choose to go to school, learn how to build and buy existing businesses. “I choose to go to school, learn how to employ the grace God has given me to serve humanity“. I choose to go to “school” and learn how best my ideas can be a solution to the problems of the society. What do you choose, for yourself and for your kids? Don’t be deceived.